Welcome
If you are reading this page it’s because you want to get to know me a little more, and I hope in reading about my lived experience you will learn about the areas I am passionate about, some of the adversities I have experienced and how the journey of healing is a lifelong one.
In my early childhood, nothing sticks out for me as I don’t remember much of my early life, which, I believe, is due to the brain protecting me from traumatic experiences. What I know is that I lived with my biological mother for a short time, but due to mental health reasons, drugs/alcohol abuse and promiscuous behaviour, all her children went into care. I didn’t however I was classified as a child at risk, something I learnt recently.
Welcome
If you are reading this page it’s because you want to get to know me a little more, and I hope in reading about my lived experience you will learn about the areas I am passionate about, some of the adversities I have experienced and how the journey of healing is a lifelong one.
In my early childhood, nothing sticks out for me as I don’t remember much of my early life, which, I believe, is due to the brain protecting me from traumatic experiences. What I know is that I lived with my biological mother for a short time, but due to mental health reasons, drugs/alcohol abuse and promiscuous behaviour, all her children went into care. I didn’t however I was classified as a child at risk, something I learnt recently.
Not growing up with my biological mother had a profound impact on me, impacted my sense of belonging and understanding of self. While I believe not remembering her played a part in my lack of sense of belonging, not talking about her caused greater harm. Most cultures don’t speak about things that seem difficult. However, those same things come back and manifest in our relationships later in life.
My education was okay
Spent some time in Jamaica, but mostly educated in the UK. In Jamaica, the experience of school was harsh in many ways, but potentially laid a foundation that I later used in life. There is another side to my time in Jamaica, filled with abuse and horror.
Sexually abused by a family friend (which often abuse is carried out by someone in or known to the family). This abuse took place for the time I lived in Jamaica and just like how I had learnt from an early age, I locked the experience away. This was the behaviour I learnt, to continue up until I was in my early 30s. Don’t speak about things, just keep going, having a job and a place to live means that you’re doing okay. This was so far from the truth.
In numerous ways, I think my roles enabled me to not engage in some destructive behaviours that some of my peers engaged in. This is not to say I was perfect.
Sexually abused by a family friend (which often abuse is carried out by someone in or known to the family). This abuse took place for the time I lived in Jamaica and just like how I had learnt from an early age, I locked the experience away.
This was the behaviour I learnt, to continue up until I was in my early 30s. Don’t speak about things, just keep going, having a job and a place to live means that you’re doing okay. This was so far from the truth.
In numerous ways, I think these roles enabled me to not engage in some destructive behaviours as my peers engaged in.
This is not to say I was perfect.
Cut off from my own emotions and ability to connect to others were areas that were locked away alongside my experiences that were too painful to relive.
The journey of self-discovery not only uncovered what I really want in life but the impact of some of my experiences, which allowed me to make decisions that connect me to the people around me.
I work in various sectors because my passion is people, not sectors. I say that to say change is not as far as you think - collaboration, support and reflective practice is where we change the outcome of people living healthier lives and services that provide better support. The person I strive to be understands these three things. Role modelling does mean perfect - but I believe it’s having a set of values that show integrity and face cultural bias and abusive behaviours. Behaviour is learnt, I know this too well, but I also know that behaviours can be unlearned and healthy ones learnt. Change starts within, for every time you point the finger, there are three looking back at you. Reflection, safety and awareness, three components that not only help us thrive but ensure we grow in an emotional mature way.
The work journey was no better
As stated, I started peer mentoring at the age of 15 and while there was no support or guidance, the journey was truly life changing. In my years of working with young people, I had one supervision sessions, basic training to meet Ofsted expectations & barrier after barrier for training support.
In my early 30s, feeling like an imposter to the people I worked with, I started studying, engaging in therapy as well as embedding a life of meaningful change. I left education as I felt the glass ceiling became too much to fight and the lack of interest to embed practices that truly would change young peoples' life.
Now, I use my lived experiences, knowledge to build communities, better practices and healthy habits in peoples life.
Change starts with the people in the mirror
Cut off from my own emotions and ability to connect to others were areas that were locked away alongside my experiences that were too painful to relive.
The journey of self-discovery not only uncovered what I really want in life but the impact of some of my experiences, which allowed me to make decisions that connect me to the people around me.
I work in various sectors because my passion is people, not sectors.
I say that to say change is not as far as you think - collaboration, support and reflective practice is where we change the outcome of people living healthier lives and services that provide better support. The person I strive to be, understands these three things.
Role modelling
does mean perfect - but I believe it’s having a set of values that show integrity and face cultural bias and abusive behaviours.
Behaviour is learnt, I know this too well, but I also know that behaviours can be unlearned and healthy ones learnt.
Change starts within, for every time you point the finger, there are three looking back at you. Reflection, safety and awareness, all three areas that not only help us thrive but ensure we grow in an emotional mature way.
